New Years Resolutions

First of all, if you have one involving workout, etc.  Don't.

Screw you and stay out of my gym.  Seriously.  "Oh I'm doing it for my health" BS was a no go last year, the year before, during Christmas Dinner, during NYE boozefest last night, or this year.

The only REAL reason why any of you would ever stick going to the gym is if it's one of the following 10 reasons.

10. Swimsuit Season.
Just think of the first time you take your shirt off or put on a bikini this summer. Won't it feel great to know that everybody is looking at you?  Won't it feel great I'm not calling you a fat sack?

9. Haters gonna hate.
Many of you know those people. You tell them that you are starting a workout program and they just roll their eyes.  When people tell me they're going workout, eat healthier, or "want to look out for the future," I give them this genuine-looking face and tell them I will help them best of my abilities and then offer you some of my own and other's reading materials along with some maybe personal consultations all for free.
Why?  Cause you're gonna give up, but you'll think I'm such an awesome guy for trying to help.
What if you proved me wrong?  What if you me made feel like a douche for doing that?  You probably won't.

8. I am Better than You.
Some of us were not born big. Some of us are actually pretty puny naturally. Don't you hate the fact that I can kick your ass? Yes, I know this is immature and doesn't really matter but let's be realistic. If you are a guy, this is one of the worst insults to your manhood.
We all know people who just act like they are better because they are buffer or more ripped.  Why?  It's cause they are buffer and more ripped.  Imagine if you were the one walking around with ILS(Imaginary Lat Syndrome) or maybe even real lats.  Maybe I won't call you a f... uh... small guy... everytime I saw you.

7. Being Strong!
One of the top reasons that people workout is to become strong. It just feels great when somebody asks you to open the bottle of ketchup instead her boyfriend.
Won't it be great to have people stare as you load the weight on for a heavy set of presses? Being able to smash weights onto bars and floors while looking like a jackass, but people won't say anything cause they can't even lift them up in the first place feels awesome.  Also when you can actually lift yourself onto the monkey bars again after 15 years feels good when you can traverse them while at the same time kick 5 year olds off of it.

6. Feeling Good About Yourself.
We all know that you don't look much different after one week of working out. Isn't it weird though that you suddenly find yourself flexing in the mirror a lot more often?
You walk around just feeling better looking even if you haven't changed at all yet. This self confidence can extend itself to other parts of your life and make you an overall more successful person.

5. Feel Good When You Run Into Old Friends.
How many people can you name that gained a lot of fat almost immediately after high school or just last year? A lot. How many people can you name who are now in better shape? Not you.  I know because I facebook stalked you.
We all love to gossip about how we ran into you and couldn't believe how fat you had become. His face was all pudgy and his body looked bloated.
Write down a few names of people you haven't seen in awhile who you will be happy to impress. A good list would include ex-girlfriends/boyfriends, people who used to look better than you and knew it, people from past sports teams that you were on... etc.

4. Succeed In Life.
If you have a job where you see new people often, this could be important. Better looking people have a better chance of getting the best jobs, getting promotions, making the sale and being respected.
This may not be morally right but it is true. We naturally trust good looking people. Many people also assume that fat and out of shape people are lazy, dumb, rude and untrustworthy. This is a reason why I don't look at you when I talk to you.  Think about it.

3. Have The Dream Life!
Most people's idea of the perfect life would be to be rich, smart, good looking, buff, tan and happy. Obviously, you aren't, but bodybuilding can help you become better looking and muscular. Working out will help you have more energy and feel better about yourself.
These will naturally help you to be more successful in your career. Many people will assume you are smarter than others based on your healthy appearance. This can all bring you closer to living the life most people only dream about!

2. Going To The Gym Is Fun.
After you belong to a gym for awhile, you will get to know the people who work there or workout there. You will make friends with people who have your same interest. The gym becomes like a second home to many bodybuilders.
The feeling of lifting becomes an addiction to many bodybuilders. There is almost nothing better than squeezing out that last rep then walking around like you're the shit.  The feeling of driving home afterwards knowing that you just ripped your muscles a new one is great. Your daily stress slowly fades away.

1. The Opposite Sex.
This is the number one reason most people start working out. They want to attract the best looking girls or guys. The first time a hot woman asks to feel your bulging bicep, you will know that every ounce of sweat and pain was worth it.

If the above 10 reasons aren't good enough reasons to get in shape and kick my butt, then I don't know how else you will.